I'm so fancy...

I'm so fancy, even my ovaries wear a string of pearls!
and *expensive* jewelry it is.

I had known PCOS was a possibility. I had all the symptoms.
At first, hearing the diagnosis was a good thing. Ok - we have some answers.

But then, the emotions hit.
This PLUS endometriosis PLUS fibromyalagia PLUS chronic fatigue PLUS Epstein barr PLUS...

I cried for 10 minutes but then pulled it together for a meeting.
I cried again and called my mom. Yup, I'm that girl.
Then again I had to be "okay" so that I could do 3sessions.
I'm a psychotherapist for fucks sake.
PULL IT TOGETHER.
But then I got home and all night I cried.

I'm not sure of the toll this took on my husband. I knew he was worried. It just made me cry more.

I am a hot mess. Plus I am highly hormonal so half the emotion isn't even fully grief. Its like grief on crack.

He has no idea how to respond. He does try though. I am thankful for a husband that tries. I have no complaints about him.

THIS. IS. JUST. HARD.

And then I become frustrated with myself that I'm handling it this way.
WHERE ARE THE BOOT STRAPS.
I got to pull myself out of this.

And with that thought, I dutifully wrote down "On a good note" with a list of things I'm grateful for:

* I'm getting answers
*I'm taking action steps to help
* I have a supportive husband and mother
* My last session had a moment of sublime serendipity